Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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