I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
