Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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