Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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