All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
