Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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