Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
