You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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