Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
