he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
