I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
