they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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