the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
