how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
