This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
