I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
