There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize