I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He has the fingertips of a God
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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