alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
