I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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