He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
