even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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