Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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