Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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