I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
