RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
