One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
