You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
