Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
