She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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