Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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