i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need to sanitize my soul.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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