My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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