Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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