I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize