I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
