All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
