I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
