Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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