how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
