Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
