Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
