Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
