oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
