i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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