So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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