yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
