Im at strip club and am horny
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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