next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
