What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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