Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
