Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my poor anus
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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