It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
