All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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