i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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