Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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