Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this beer tastes like vomit already
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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