You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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