I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
