She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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