He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Boobs speak an international language.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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