Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
