i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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