Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Welp...herpes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
