you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Text me some of your sweat
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