saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
