Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
