I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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