My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
