So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
