I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
